8 Stupid Mistakes Guys Need To Avoid With Online Dating

Online dating takes practice, patience and skill. Just because you are sitting there it doesn’t mean others will automatically start chatting with you for no reason.

You must take the initiative and actively start conversations with those you like. This is probably truer for men rather than women. Women tend to get bombarded with messages without having to try.

Still, there are some incredibly feeble and stupid attempts by guys on the internet and then all they do is complain that women are ignoring them. Women want their men to give them a feel good attitude, someone who’s intelligent and someone who listens. If you want to get the responses you’re after, then remember these important points that are putting women off on a daily basis:

  1. Spelling and Grammar
    Women like intelligent men. Don’t ruin your chances with simple mistakes in your profile. Computers have spellcheckers these days, so take the time to get it right.
  2. Women DO Read Your Profile
    Just like you men do, women will be browsing your profile before deciding to send a message. In fact women will likely spend more time on your profile than you did on theirs. So make sure it has a good picture and shows you have a decent style and sense of humour. No nude pics, gents.
  3. Have Some Class
    That means no usernames that are laden with sexual innuendo. Unless you’re just looking for a one night stand.
  4. Individualise Your Emails
    Yes, I know online dating is a numbers game in some respects. But at least address it to the girl’s name. It makes us feel special. We get 100’s of emails a day. Quite often I get the same copied and pasted crap from several guys. C&Ped messages just get you overlooked.
  5. Avoid Negative Words
    Don’t, couldn’t, won’t, shouldn’t – make your profile positive and upbeat. All the things you can and want to do. Don’t mention your negatives – for some women they may not care and you’ve already put a downer on yourself.
  6. Distance
    Do you really plan on flying down from Glasgow to take me on a date? It’s a lovely thought to meet a distant romantic and fall on love, but messaging someone from another country or even county just won’t work out.
  7. Don’t Lie About Your Marriage/Divorce/etc
    You may be seperated, but not yet divorced. You may even be married! Be upfront about it, girls won’t trust someone who lies about this. After all, it brings up questions about why their past relationship failed.
  8. If She Says No, She Means No
    If a woman turns you down, leave it, move on. There are plenty more fish in the sea. You won’t get anywhere by bombarding her.
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Do You Actually Attract The Opposite Sex?

Our biggest desire as humans is to get a great mate. We want the best of the species and will settle for nothing less. But do we have the personality required to attract the opposite sex? Can we magnetise that significant other towards us successfully? That’s a big question. And once it’s mastered, the world is your oyster.

So, raw appeal. There is something called animal instinct. Some of us have it; some don’t. It’s our voice, tone, walk, style, smell, personality and so much more. Take care of the basics first. Look good – clean yourself up and dress well. Smell nice. Give off an air of confidence.

Suppose for a moment that you’re a woman (or perhaps you are!). You’re in a line with 100s of other women all standing in a line. A man walks down the line to pick the girl he likes the most. Kind of like that show “No Likey No Lighty!”. Would you beat all the other women and stand out as the winner? If you can do that, then you’re a winner. Same applies vice-versa to men.

Do you understand the opposite sex? Take a teacher as an example. A teacher is trained to handle a group of children and cope with them in a variety of difficult situations. Do you think you could do the same thing with the opposite sex? Have you studied the opposite sex? Please please read other parts of the blog if at any point you doubt your own ability to do this!

Making yourself attractive to the opposite sex is the first requirement. Once you’ve unlocked that you’ll manage to get any date you wish. Good luck my readers 😉

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Creating Sexual Tension and How To Arouse Your Woman

Sexual tension is absolutely paramount in any interaction with a woman.  The energy and charge of interacting with another person is powerful. There are many different conceptualizations of sexual tension floating around in the seduction community.

Some examples are cocky bantering and flirting, explicit sexual interest paired with false barriers, using the word ‘sexy’ to convey a sexual intent, and of course the old speedy seduction route (complex language patterns intended to implant sexual thoughts into a woman’s mind).

Some techniques work better than others, and can definitely improve your success. I prefer the very pure kind of sexual tension because it is grounded in real, hard sexual desire, and a very natural way of magnifying the tension felt by the girl.

So, sexual tension is the presence of a controlled state of arousal, but with the absence of overt sexual interest.

If you’re trying to increase tension with your partner, then pick the right time, then focus your sexual desire on your woman, but not by making any overt sexual advances. Make sure you maintain intrigue, a sense of ambiguity, which keeps her focused on you, and directs her mind toward sexual thoughts. Transfer your passion to her, making her mire aroused. It is then only a matter of keeping her sexually aroused using compliance techniques.

Controlled State of Arousal

There are two reasons why a sexually aroused state is so important for this to work. First, women love sex. It feels great (usually!), and a sexual man is invaluable to a woman because he can give her pleasure in ways she can’t. It’s like ticking, far better when someone else is involved! Women are attracted to men who are attracted to women.

The second reason is more subtle, but there are examples in every day life. It’s a phenomenon called ‘state-transfer’ – have you ever been in a bad mood, and a friend came by in a really great, excited mood? Your mood probably changed, and you found yourself cheering up in spite of yourself. How about the way you feel around someone when they’re nervous? You feel nervous as well, correct?

Think back to a time you were with a woman, say your girlfriend, and she was obviously very sexually aroused, but you weren’t doing anything sexual to her. You probably got yourself excited because she was excited. This is how humans hypnotize each other in every day life – we transfer our states to each other.  It’s incredibly powerful in terms of human interaction.

Can you see where I’m going with this?

State transfer occurs on a metaphysical, psychic energy level. But more so, a state is transferred with non-verbal communication. When you are turned on, your voice reflects your state, as do facial expressions, eye contact, manner of touching, body language, and a million other little things – too numerous to try to micromanage or control yourself.

It’s not as simple as just being turned on, although that’s of course part of it. Control is vital – if you are nervous or uncomfortable yourself, you won’t be able to get sexually aroused. The best way to stay calm and comfortable in social situations is simply experience. Socialise more, go out, get experience talking to women. There are so many other guides online that can help you with this.

Some people find meditation, diet, avoidance of harmful indulgences, television and regular exercise all help.

For the ‘getting turned on’ part, you’ll be raising your testosterone levels to incredible effect. You already know how to get aroused, I’m not going to try and help you out here. But just remember, during your interactions with women, simply focus on what she’d look like naked, or imagine having sex with her, or whatever fun little thoughts you want to entertain in your head.

Creating Tension

The tension side is really an extension of intrigue, which can be described in two ways. It can be seen as a lack of over-validating a woman, or getting her attention fixated on you by being ambiguous and holding back information. Creating mystery. You probably learnt this in dating 101. These are flip sides of the same coin however, and when applied to sexual tension, we enter a sexual state, but don’t verbalise our desires.

Your girl probably has you figured out, and knows you want her, which gives her the option of forgetting about you and focusing elsewhere. You’re old news. You don’t want this. You’ve got to ensure you verbalise sexual interest because it puts her in a position where she wants to agree with it. She will be consciously admitting that this is leading to sex.

It’s a Pandora’s box scenario: imagine sitting in a room with a closed treasure chest in front of you. Then you open it and find gold. When was the chest more interesting? True, the gold is great, but there’s no longer a mystery in the air. You can even forget about the gold for a bit and do something else, because you know (or hope) it’ll still be there when you get back. But, in those moments before you know what’s in there, that chest preoccupies your mind and keeps your attention.

Once you have mastered this concept, you’re well on your way.

If you liked this article, check out some of my others on this topic: Why Good Sex Doesn’t Last For Hours, Do You Actually Attract The Opposite Sex? and How To Get a Girl Into Bed

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Is He Bothered by Your Sexual History?

Your boyfriend envisioning some other guy getting it on with you can literally drive him crazy. The last thing he wants to imagine is another guy being with you; both having sex, or just hooking up.

So if your sexual history is filled with lots of experience, any new guy might have trouble dealing with this. However, he does need to accept this. After all, you’re with him now.

Whatever you do, never let someone else throw your past back at you and hold it against you. Especially if it’s ancient history (and let’s face it, most girls have their promiscuous period when they’re at Uni), then it should stay in the past.

He’s got to accept that’s your history, and you are what you are. He may not like it, but he can’t use it against you. It’s completely unfair for him to want to be your boyfriend and then start unravelling your past when it’s convenient for him.

If he keeps bringing it up, or you think it’s affecting things in the bedroom, then let him know there really are only two ways to go:

  1. You break up
  2. You stay together, but never ever discuss your sexual past again in the future. Especially in spite or anger

Learn from your mistakes, and move on. Although sex is pleasurable, the few moments of pleasure aren’t often worth the long-term effects on your reputation and self-esteem. You’re probably better off being less of a “free love” kind of girl, and if that’s what you’ve chosen to do then that’s all that matters. However, if it really is an insignificant past and he’s still making a major issue about it, then you may want to rethink if he’s really the right kind of guy for you!

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How to Get A Girl To Have Sex and Get Into Bed With You

Seduction.

I could leave it there. Without this, even the most attractive of men won’t be able to take a woman home. An average looking man who can seduce a woman will win every single time over an extremely attractive man with no seduction skills. It is imperative you know how to seduce, and once you do, you’ll have the luxury of being able to ask “My place or yours?”.

To seal the deal, you’ll need to attract the woman first. Just by being good looking or talking to a woman won’t make her yearn for you. You’ve got to show her you’re really interested in her and don’t try to beat around the bush. This part of seduction will take time. Never try and trick a woman into sleeping with you; generally women are pretty smart and can see through this. They’ve probably heard every cheesy pickup line in the world, and you’ll be sure they’re not going to work.

Be honest and straightforward without being rude and push. Lying out all of your good qualities in full view will help lure her in. Here are the top things to think about when it comes to seduction:

  • Physical attraction is very important. Dress well, shave and look sharp
  • Charm is incredibly useful in showing her you’re interested, and gives you a great attitude towards her
  • Intellectual conversation, interesting topics, politics, current affairs, etc are all better than talking about the weather. Think about your conversations
  • Appear Harmless and don’t come across as a stalker. You need her to want to let her guard down, not try and hold you at arms length
  • Emotional Seduction is important. Give her that warm fuzzy feeling and be spontaneous and exciting in how you talk to her
  • Chivalry isn’t Dead. Treat her as special; but don’t put her on a pedestal – there’s a fine line between making her feel wanted and being needy

So, by now you should’ve worked out the basics of seduction. Once you’ve drawn her in, make sure you think about the following:

  • Put Her First, not all of the time, but don’t let her think the only thing you’re interested in is satisfying your own needs
  • Make Her Feel Beautiful, it’s a bit of point-scoring with this one, but it’s a standard one and easy to do
  • Deliver Orgasms. Guys, learn the signs of her faking it. Never let her leave feeling unsatisfied or she won’t stick around. Explore her body
  • Provide Her With Pleasure, it’s a give and take thing. And sex is far more amazing when you both learn how to push each others buttons
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