Month: April 2015

Why Good Sex Doesn’t Last For Hours – 15 to 30 Minutes Is The Sweet Spot

Sometimes the media likes to mislead us. In fact, it happens all the time. One of the huge misconceptions amongst people I’ve spoken to is the time that sex should last.

Lots of people believe that sex should go on for hours and hours. It simply isn’t true.

Good sex should last between 15 and 30 minutes. I’m not talking about foreplay of course, that should come first. But actual penetration.
Ignore what you’re mates are telling you (it’s probably all lies anyway). Anything more than 30 minutes will get boring, painful and tedious.
Don’t just go on and on, hoping she’ll orgasm. Sometimes women don’t. So do learn to admit defeat. At least stop with what you’re doing (it’s obviously not working) and try something else instead. It’s perhaps better to go back to a bit of foreplay, warm her up again and try again after a bit of a break. Maybe you just have to give up for the night and try again tomorrow.

The most important thing guys, is to remember that time isn’t everything. Just because you can “last” for hours on end, doesn’t mean she’s enjoying it any more than if it was over in 25 minutes.

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Where To Propose In London

One for the serious romantics here. I’ve been asked for some tips on proposals – that’s right, marriage proposals! (not that I can think of any other kinds)…

Ahem. Right, so, a few guys have been messaging me over the last few weeks asking me about where I’d suggest as good locations to propose. Whilst I believe that every proposal should be special, tailored, and personalised (and therefore there is no simple “best places” list), I’ve put one together anyway. Please note that all these following places are pretty un-original, and personally, I’d expect a little more thought!

1. The London Eye
It’s an obvious one, so much so they do special “proposal capsules” with champagne, chocolates and some privacy. But it’s fast becoming one of the most popular places in London to pop the question. It’s got some gorgeous views over the city, so I can see why. If you pick the right time, and have the right weather, it’s a stunning backdrop to celebrate against. Top tip – call the London Eye management beforehand and discuss options with them, you don’t want something to muck up on the big day…

2. New Year’s Fireworks
Oh am I going through the cliques here, but the New Year’s fireworks display is definitely another great place to propose. It’s very romantic, has a great atmosphere and is the perfect way to ring in the new year (literally!) with the wonderful display as backdrop to the start of your celebrations. Top tip – Get there early, some of the front row positions along the Thames are full up many hours before midnight!

3. Hyde Park
London has some beautiful green spaces, but Hyde Park is my favourite. In particular, the area around the Serpentine Lake is extremely romantic at certain times of the year. You can even arrange for a horse-drawn carriage to sweep you off afterwards. Another popular activity is to hire a boat and fashionably propose out on the open water – just hope it’s a yes or you’ll have a very wet swim back to shore!

4. A Boutique Restaurant
There are some beautiful restaurants in London and some are part of wonderful hotels as well. These quirky and personalised hotels pride themselves on customer service and offer something a little different. Have a look on-line at the growing collection of interesting hotels which would make a lovely place to propose, just remember the rose petals strewn across the bed!

5. With A Picnic
There are some lovely places to propose over a picnic in London. Give Parliament Hill, Kew Gardens or London’s botanical gardens a quick whirl and see if you feel they’re the place to ask “the one” the big question!

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Why Mid-Session Feedback Is A Turn-Off Not Sex Turn-On

One of the biggest ways to turn a woman off during sex is constantly asking questions. “Was that good?” “Am I doing OK?” “Would you like more?”. Stop it.

Communication is extremely important during intimate sessions, but asking questions is the wrong way to go about it. Men, you need to learn to communicate through body language. Watch for her eyes, her lips, her convulsions. Her reactions will be telling you everything you need to know. If she squirms or pushes you away it’s obviously not right, so try something else instead. If she’s moaning, pulling you closer and writhing on the bed (in a good way), then you’re doing it right, so keep going!

Just please refrain from constantly checking how it’s going, it just isn’t a turn on.

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Don’t Fix, Just Listen

Sometimes a women wants to talk and a man just needs to listen. It might sound odd, but that’s just the way it is.

So, don’t push yourself into thinking that just because a woman is sharing her problems with you, you need to fix them. In fact they might not be looking for a fix at all. It may just be a way of releasing their inner worries or concerns and voicing their thoughts. At this point, you, as a man, need to understand that it’s just a thing we women do. We want to get everything out on the table and don’t actually want you to pick at what we’re saying. You may feel you’re helping, but if you just point out things we’ve said we can feel like we’re perhaps the one causing the problem, or we’ve done something wrong. What we’re really after is someone who can give us a hug and tell us that everything will be OK.

So next time you are confronted by a woman, potentially in tears, telling you all about her problems, don’t try to fix, just listen.

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Why Dating Leagues Are A Real Thing

Lots of people like to pretend there is no such thing as leagues when it comes to dating. You keep telling yourself that “beauty is in the eye of the beholder”, “it’s all down to confidence”, etc. Well, although confidence and dressing well are both important factors and will affect your levels of success, sometimes the person you are after is simply out of your league. And if that’s the case, there is nothing you can do about it.

Some people we will meet in our lives we will find attractive but they will unfortunately never return that level of interest. They may feel that they are too good for you, perhaps it’s due to society, it’s difficult to tell. The bottom line is that you’re never going to get anywhere with them.

It all comes down to options. The more options we have, the more choosy we can be. If we have few options, we’ll probably settle for something “less”. It’s simple. If you go after the kind of people who are in higher demand then you absolutely will have lower success. Lots of people struggle to grasp this concept. If you know someone is the most attractive/smart/pretty person in your school or college then you will find they have more options than you could ever imagine, and thus they will be able to pick the cremé of the crop themselves.

So if you find that you’re having little success, perhaps try and re-evaluate your position. It’s not a good idea to lie to yourself, you have to be honest about where you fit in with society. You may feel like you’re settling, but I can tell you you’re not.
If you want to win someone over, you have to be their best option. It may not be their best logical option (as not everyone thinks with their brain!) but you must be the best option they have at that point. Otherwise they’re going to go with the other person and that’s basically it.

Having said that, if you trick each other into thinking you’re both dating out of your leagues then perhaps the best option all-round, as everyone will be happy! It might sound a bit harsh guys, but it’s the truth.

Any thoughts? Please leave a comment 🙂

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