Month: September 2015

The Biology of Fight or Flight in Sexual Situations

When you do something dangerous, like skydiving or extreme sports, your body pumps out massively increased levels of a stress hormone called Cortisol.

Cortisol is the primary hormone in the “fight or flight” response that floods your system with adrenaline and primes your body for survival in a life-or-death situation. Put an attractive woman in a room with a man, however, and that man’s body suddenly can’t tell the difference between a beautiful woman and a rampaging predator.

In fact, just being alone with an attractive woman for a few minutes raises Cortisol levels to those seen during heart attacks. It sounds absurd, but when researchers tested male hormone levels with a saliva swab after being alone with an attractive female, their Cortisol was actually right around the levels you’d expect to see after skydiving or bungee-jumping. The more sexually attractive he thought the woman was, the higher his Cortisol levels would rise. Their tests concluded that, in parallels to fighting a predator, sexual interest is seen (at least at the hormonal level) as a challenge that must be overcome. The more dangerous (i.e., attractive) the predator (i.e., woman), the more prepared he needs to be to survive (i.e., get laid). However, a word of warning: Further studies show that women are actually turned off by men with higher than average stress levels – and that they can actually tell just by observation the amount of “freaking out” a man is doing at that moment. So, looks like it’s a lose-lose situation!

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Relationship Killer #10 – Being Too Comfortable

Relationship Killer #10 – Being Too Comfortable

After you’ve been together for a while, you will tend to grow very comfortable with each other. Unfortunately, this can lead to laziness and even boredom. Work hard to ensure you don’t become under-appreciated when in each other’s company. If you feel the relationship is heading this way, try spicing things up. Generally a lot of couples benefit from change, such as a change of pace or a change of scenery, so definitely make sure you grab a holiday when you can!

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Relationship Killer #9 – Smothering

Relationship Killer #9 – Smothering

It’s difficult to find a good balance when it comes to dating. Too much time together and you will begin to smother each other. Too much time apart and it will be difficult to keep the romance alive. It’s important to not become too dependent on your partner or you’ll make them feel very trapped which just perpetuates bad thoughts.

If you feel you’re in the position where the only important thing in your life is your partner, you may need to back off a little and find some alternative hobbies, interests or friends to keep you occupied away from that one person. It’s also a good idea to avoid dating with colleagues for this exact reason or things could get awkward quickly if the relationship goes sour!

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Relationship Killer #8 – Addiction

Relationship Killer #8 – Addiction

Drink, gambling, sex, smoking, drugs. Whatever it may be, addiction puts an unhealthy strain on a relationship. Constantly lying to your partner, letting them down and being rejected by the person they care about can be something unbearable for the other person. It’s unhealthy for a relationship, as well as your personal health! Seek professional advice when it comes to handling addictions and work together to improve your ability to handle whatever it may be that you can’t do without. You’ll feel better as a person for dealing with it, I promise!

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Relationship Killer #7 – Aggressive Behaviour

Relationship Killer #7 – Aggressive Behaviour

No-one should EVER have to deal with an aggressive partner, and if any one ever lays a hand on you in a moment of anger, seek professional advice or contact the Police as soon as possible.

However, even small amounts of anger, such as a raised voice or a snappy response can lead to stress in a relationship. If you react badly to a situation you will cause your partner to become very stressed about dealing with these situations as they will feel they have to walk on egg-shells when a similar problem occurs again in the future. When dealing with a difficult situation (be that with each other or perhaps some other event like a bad experience when travelling), remain calm with each other or nothing will progress and no benefit will be gained. You’re a team after-all, and by working together you shall be able to overcome any situation much easier.

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