They are a Virgin, You’re Not. What to do?

So, the situation is this – your other half is a virgin but you’re not. How do you deal with this, do you tell your partner, will it effect your relationship? Find out now…

Lots of people have a past. Some better than others. It’s generally important in a relationship to ensure that you have mutual trust and understanding and it’s never a good idea to lie about your past as it will only end in hurt if your OH finds out.

However, one particularity sticky topic is the question of virginity. Some people feel they should wait for “the one”, for marriage or perhaps they just feel they’re not ready to be that intimate yet. The most important thing is not to pressure your OH into doing something they are not ready to do, just because your friends are or because you think it’s normal.

Quite often you may begin dating someone who has decided (for whichever reason) to remain a virgin. I would always say that it’s best to be upfront with your new partner about whether or not you are also. You don’t need to go into the minute detail of how many or when, but it will be good for them to know otherwise if you find out later and disagree over the issue it could definitely cause some tension.

It can be a difficult topic to breach, and it’s probably not worth mentioning out of the blue. I’d recommend waiting until the topic arises naturally and at which point you can let them know. Some partners also like to know a little about the sexual history of their significant other in case there is a chance they are carrying an STD, so also bear that in mind.

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Dating Online Is Not A Contest

It’s time for some people reading this to grow up. The word of online dating is not a competition between competing males vying for the attention of a female. You need to be in the mindset of finding rather than winning. It’s not school anymore and your attitude is the most important asset you have. Remember as well; your ideal of the “perfect man” is unlikely to be the same as your ideal woman’s view.

So what is it that women want, I hear you ask? It’s an age old question and if I could answer it then we could all go home now and be happy ever after. Being a female myself, what I can tell you is a few things women definitely DON’T want!

1. Women want confidence, not arrogance. There is a big difference here. You need to like yourself for whom you are, be confident in being yourself and not being self deprecating. You absolutely must not come across as if you’re a gift to them. They don’t like the idea you think they’re God’s gift from heaven. That’s one heck of an expectation to live up to and women just don’t need that kind of stress.

2. Women want communication. Strong and silent really doesn’t get you too far in the long run. It’s not appealing or original and they probably think the same about you if that’s the attitude you take. Women want you to be interesting and fun to be around.

3. Women are not a prize. So many men I’ve been on dates with to discuss on-line dating seem to think that women are their trophy. They want to be the ONE woman you want to be with; not the only one that responded.

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Getting Yourself Heard – The Nice Guy Problem

People all over the world have taken to on-line dating; and I mean really taken. It’s now a huge, worldwide phenomenon. Because it works; or more accurately, it can work. Women are in general out-numbered by men on on-line dating sites, and they also tend to be the most cautious when it comes to meeting with a guy they’ve met online. And it’s not surprising; there are many horror stories about the things that can occur online. I must say, it’s a good thing to be careful too, I’ve certainly had my fair share of close calls online.

So, how does a nice guy differentiate themselves from the weirdos online? You’re the nice guy looking for their dream girl. All good.

Firstly, be patient. Do not press a girl into handing over more information than she wishes to, or earlier than she wants to. Keep conversations light and fun until the level of comfort is at a point you can take your conversations further. Don’t rush a face-to-face meeting (although don’t leave it too long – no one likes email ping-pong forever).

A picture is worth a thousand words, for real. Make sure your profile has at least three or four pictures (I talk about this elsewhere). Show yourself doing every day activities and make sure they clearly show your face.

Be 100% clear and upfront about your job and hobbies. You’ll get found out eventually, and a good relationship will never be built on lies. You’ll be back at square one before you know it.

Ditto for your physical appearance. Every girl has different likes and wants. Don’t be afraid to be yourself and you won’t get very far if when you meet you have lied about your appearance.

Once you’ve planned to meet for the first time, make sure it’s in a very public place, during daylight hours if possible. You have nothing to hide and nor should she. Once you’ve had a few successful meetings then let the relationship build!

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