A First Date That’s Out Of The Box

Okay, so you’ve been emailing each other for awhile, maybe you’re text messaging and perhaps you’ve talked on the phone. You feel a certain chemistry and you want to move on to the next step, the FIRST DATE. You can’t decide where to go or what to do. The possibilities for that first date are endless. I’d like to make a suggestion; skip the whole dinner and a film thing. Try something different. Step out of your comfort zone; out of the box. Remember when you were little and it was okay to colour outside of the lines? Try it. It can open up a whole new world. Forget about the standard dinner and movie. Dinner’s nice, but why spend two hours in a cinema watching someone else when you can be doing something fun that will help you get to know one another?

Put on your thinking cap and get creative. If you’re not the creative type, ask for help from your family and friends. Not only will something different be fun, but you’ll stand out in the crowd. Your date will remember the fact that you gave some thought to where you were going and what you were going to do. Your first date can easily be a success. There will be plenty of time later on, if you continue to see each other, for dinner and a movie.

Personally, I like bowling. You might be laughing right now, or thinking “no way”, but I can tell you that it can be a lot of laughs. Bowling is a laugh, and it is a great idea for a first date! It’s also nice that you are surrounded by other people, making your date feel safe. In addition, the fun and laughter around you can be contagious. If neither of you have ever bowled, it can be a learning experience for both of you, and no one will be at an unfair advantage. If one of you has bowled before, it can be an opportunity to be a teacher. On the other hand, if both of you have bowled, you can just relax and enjoy yourself. Throw a little alcohol into the mix and just have fun. You might each bring a friend, which will also alleviate some of that “first date” stress.

If you’re not into bowling, a picnic can be nice. Now, I understand that picnics usually have a romantic stigma attached to them, but you can change that. Rather than finding a nice little secluded spot in the middle of nowhere, plop yourself down in the middle of a populated park somewhere. Entertain yourselves by people watching. You can make an impression, if you put some thought into it. Think about the menu. If you’re not so swift in the kitchen, ask someone who is. Many of them will be only too happy to put the whole thing together for you. Pick a menu and accessories that will make a statement. Forget the plastic cups and crisps. Up the ante a little bit. A bottle of wine or champagne is a nice touch, but don’t forget the corkscrew and the glasses. There’s nothing worse than finding yourself unprepared when you’re trying to make a good first impression. Make a list and check it twice. Remember something to sit on, and make sure it’s nice, clean and without holes or stains. Remember napkins; cloth is nice. Be sure to bring such things as salt and pepper, and ice cold bottled water is always good. Run through your plans with a fine toothed comb and get rid of any snags.

Where you are and the time of year can help dictate where you go and what you do. If the weather is nice you could take a nice long walk or hike, and stop somewhere along the way for something cold to drink. You could go to the beach, walk along the boardwalk and stop for lunch overlooking the ocean. Roller blading or bicycling is always an option, as is a trip to a local winery or a farmer’s market. If it is winter or the weather is chilly, your options might be a bit different. Instead of roller blading, you could try ice skating. If you’ve never skated and you go to a public skating rink, you can find comfort in the fact that you won’t be the only ones falling down. You will be surrounded by others doing the same. If there’s snow around, you could go somewhere nice for lunch where there is a wonderful view. The possibilities, like I said, are endless.

If you plan ahead of time, you can ask others for dating ideas. Your Aunt Mary or Uncle Bob might know just the spot. Sometimes we have events in our own town that we know nothing about. When the weather is warm, many towns and cities have outdoor concerts or festivals of some kind. There might be someplace historical you’ve never been. Museums and art galleries are good too.

So, if you want to have a successful first date, give it some thought. Don’t be afraid of the unknown. Instead, embrace it. Enlist the help of family, friends and co-workers. Peruse your local Sunday paper or Weekly. Dare to be different. If the date ends up being a bust, at least you’ve tried something new or out of the ordinary. Good luck and happy dating!

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Avoiding the Catfish

If you are looking for love and marriage abroad, it is very simple to get it right, believe me! There are thousands of honest, sincere women who will be genuinely interested in YOU!

But after you are meeting a nice girl that seems to be right for you make sure the person you are talking to is FOR REAL.

Frankly, looking for a partner abroad is not any different than any other search – search for a house, a second-hand car, or whatsoever, in one simple yet important detail: there will always be people that will try to take advantage of you.

The perception that you have built about dating scams can make you be cautious and suspicious all the time! That is even worse. Chances are you will make the same mistakes as other guys and destroy what was a really good and honest relationship – just because of being paranoid about scammers.

But what if I tell you that there are some specific signs that can make you solve the enigma of sincerity in your relationship and find out that the person you were corresponding with is not who she said she is?

1. Money is a key object to know a scam. At some point she begins to ask for money, frequently asking that it be transferred through wire services. She commonly states that the money is needed to help resolve a family tragedy or arrange for a trip to the United States.

Beside this, there are other subtle signs that can make you be suspicious from the first e-mails she is sending you.

2. The most prominent is the fact that scammers do not really read your letters. They do not remember what you have written – actually, they do not relate to the content of your letters at all. They do not answer your questions.

3. Things move very fast, and she falls in love with you within 1-5 letters. Those letters she send to you could be sent to anybody: “her” letters are pure monologue that becomes more and more obsessed with “her love” to you and her desire to be together with you despite of everything that separates you.

4. She doesn’t want to provide you with her phone number pretending that she doesn’t have a phone or that she didn’t speak English. Paper can bear anything, you know that. But even phone conversation can give you more clues of what’s really going on (though men usually tend to misinterpret subtle signs excusing them by the language barrier).

5. Your name usually appears only once, or does not appear at all in the correspondence she is sending to you. She uses “darling”, “sweetheart”, “my love” and so on instead, because she is probably afraid not to mix the names of her victims or is sending the same messages to all of them only changing the names.

6. She lets you know from the very beginning that she is a student or how little she earns, including the size of her salary even though you never asked about it. But she never asks about the state of your finances – neither uses the word “financially secure” in her description of the prospective partner.

7. She writes you almost every day (keeps sending you photos even if you did not ask for) and in her letters she talks a lot about trust, honesty and sincerity. 🙂

So of course you must be aware of the fact that there are some individuals out there who may try to extract from you some amounts in cash, but remember that not all pretty girls you are meeting online are swindlers. Many men who were looking for a foreign wife, and met a wonderful girl without problems, are very surprised to find information about scams – they did not know that such a thing exists!

It is you who takes the choice and the risk. Enjoy, but do not get fooled.

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