Okay, so you’ve been emailing each other for awhile, maybe you’re text messaging and perhaps you’ve talked on the phone. You feel a certain chemistry and you want to move on to the next step, the FIRST DATE. You can’t decide where to go or what to do. The possibilities for that first date are […]
It’s nearing the end of your first date. To kiss or not to kiss?
My first suggestion, is to not go all out. Most first date kisses involve light pecks on the cheeks, perhaps on the lips. These only tend to happen once you feel comfortable with your date – it’s unlikely you’re going to be wanting to go all in when you’ve only just gotten to know eachother. This isn’t a nightclub, you know.
The right time is going to be the most romantically heightened part of the date. When you feel you’re close enough to your new partner, perhaps whilst doing a fun or adventurous part of the date, it would be the best time to think about this.
Alternatively, you might be taking a romantic walk in the park together, strolling along. This could also be another good time to kiss. Try to look into your partners eyes and see what they’re thinking. You’ll feel it if it’s the right time.
The situation doesn’t need to be dramatic and serious to kiss. The right moment to kiss during these sharing moments is when you feel comfortable sharing your personal perceptions and experiences with your date.
At the end of the date, you can give him a light peck on the cheeks if you had fun with him on your first date after he’s dropped you home safe and sound.
So – you’re on a date and things have got a little awkward. You’ve run out of things to say. How to you save things and avoid coming across super shy?
1. Give Her A Compliment
I used to be enormously shy myself, but one thing that always broke the ice was when the guy would pay me a compliment. That moment of acceptance momentairly jars your brain and kicks you out of the super shy feeling. Make sure it’s something lovely though, perhaps about her lifestyle or personality, rather than just looks.
2. Ask An Open Question
Stop with the yes/no questions and ask something that actually requires some thought to respond. Questions establish a basis for effective communication and effective questions open the door to understanding. The art is to know which questions to ask and when. Definitely go for ‘why’ and ‘how’ questions and she’ll feel that you are interested. Make sure you don’t stray onto any conversation topics that might be a little too risque at first however 😉
3. Listen, Listen (oh, and Listen)
When a woman starts to talk about her favourite topics, many men will lose interest or try and steer the conversation away too quickly. This is a massive mistake and women will detect this! Women love to exchange jokes and anecdotes as well, and perhaps she’s currently on her way to telling you an interesting story. Give her a chance to finish and you will be rewarded.
The third type of person not to date at Uni:
Unlike schools, relationships between staff and students at Universities are pretty common and normally all above board. Often, a lecturer will only need declare their involvement with a student with their Head of Department, to ensure there is no foul play when it comes to exams.
Let’s face it though, most University relationships don’t last. So, that power over you and wisdom you found so attractive right at the start is now looming over you and out of control. Do you really want to be finishing the rest of the year having to sit and listen to your ex boy or girlfriend for several hours a week? Didn’t think so…
So, in this series of three people not to date when you’re at Uni, we’re going to start with #1 (obviously).
It sounds like a brilliant idea, I mean it’s super convenient right? Well, yes, it is good when you are together. You will get closer to someone much quicker and likely feel a lot more comfortable together when you’re living together. But the big issue here is if it all goes wrong. Not only is it impossible to avoid each-other, things can get pretty awkward if your ex-partner starts bringing someone else over.
In halls, it may not be so bad, but do you really want to be sharing a bathroom or kitchen with your ex’s new love interest? It’s just not worth it. Perhaps wait until the summer when you may be moving apart before starting anything off?