It’s time for some people reading this to grow up. The word of online dating is not a competition between competing males vying for the attention of a female. You need to be in the mindset of finding rather than winning. It’s not school anymore and your attitude is the most important asset you have. Remember as well; your ideal of the “perfect man” is unlikely to be the same as your ideal woman’s view.
So what is it that women want, I hear you ask? It’s an age old question and if I could answer it then we could all go home now and be happy ever after. Being a female myself, what I can tell you is a few things women definitely DON’T want!
1. Women want confidence, not arrogance. There is a big difference here. You need to like yourself for whom you are, be confident in being yourself and not being self deprecating. You absolutely must not come across as if you’re a gift to them. They don’t like the idea you think they’re God’s gift from heaven. That’s one heck of an expectation to live up to and women just don’t need that kind of stress.
2. Women want communication. Strong and silent really doesn’t get you too far in the long run. It’s not appealing or original and they probably think the same about you if that’s the attitude you take. Women want you to be interesting and fun to be around.
3. Women are not a prize. So many men I’ve been on dates with to discuss on-line dating seem to think that women are their trophy. They want to be the ONE woman you want to be with; not the only one that responded.
People all over the world have taken to on-line dating; and I mean really taken. It’s now a huge, worldwide phenomenon. Because it works; or more accurately, it can work. Women are in general out-numbered by men on on-line dating sites, and they also tend to be the most cautious when it comes to meeting with a guy they’ve met online. And it’s not surprising; there are many horror stories about the things that can occur online. I must say, it’s a good thing to be careful too, I’ve certainly had my fair share of close calls online.
So, how does a nice guy differentiate themselves from the weirdos online? You’re the nice guy looking for their dream girl. All good.
Firstly, be patient. Do not press a girl into handing over more information than she wishes to, or earlier than she wants to. Keep conversations light and fun until the level of comfort is at a point you can take your conversations further. Don’t rush a face-to-face meeting (although don’t leave it too long – no one likes email ping-pong forever).
A picture is worth a thousand words, for real. Make sure your profile has at least three or four pictures (I talk about this elsewhere). Show yourself doing every day activities and make sure they clearly show your face.
Be 100% clear and upfront about your job and hobbies. You’ll get found out eventually, and a good relationship will never be built on lies. You’ll be back at square one before you know it.
Ditto for your physical appearance. Every girl has different likes and wants. Don’t be afraid to be yourself and you won’t get very far if when you meet you have lied about your appearance.
Once you’ve planned to meet for the first time, make sure it’s in a very public place, during daylight hours if possible. You have nothing to hide and nor should she. Once you’ve had a few successful meetings then let the relationship build!
When you do something dangerous, like skydiving or extreme sports, your body pumps out massively increased levels of a stress hormone called Cortisol.
Cortisol is the primary hormone in the “fight or flight” response that floods your system with adrenaline and primes your body for survival in a life-or-death situation. Put an attractive woman in a room with a man, however, and that man’s body suddenly can’t tell the difference between a beautiful woman and a rampaging predator.
In fact, just being alone with an attractive woman for a few minutes raises Cortisol levels to those seen during heart attacks. It sounds absurd, but when researchers tested male hormone levels with a saliva swab after being alone with an attractive female, their Cortisol was actually right around the levels you’d expect to see after skydiving or bungee-jumping. The more sexually attractive he thought the woman was, the higher his Cortisol levels would rise. Their tests concluded that, in parallels to fighting a predator, sexual interest is seen (at least at the hormonal level) as a challenge that must be overcome. The more dangerous (i.e., attractive) the predator (i.e., woman), the more prepared he needs to be to survive (i.e., get laid). However, a word of warning: Further studies show that women are actually turned off by men with higher than average stress levels – and that they can actually tell just by observation the amount of “freaking out” a man is doing at that moment. So, looks like it’s a lose-lose situation!
When you meet a woman, she puts you into one of three categories. Often this is pretty instant, and it can be hard to change this once you’ve fallen into it (no matter how hard some guys try to get ‘un-friendzoned’).
I Like Him
If you look like her type, dress like her type or even smell like her type, you’ll probably instantly fall into her “I would have sex with you” category. Great – you’re already in there and keep playing your cards right it’ll go where you want it to go. An average guy will only fall into this category around 10% of the time, so if you don’t at first succeed, then don’t fear, try again!
I Don’t Like Him
Maybe it’s the persona you give off, or she’s just not physically attracted to you. If you fall into this category then I’m afraid guys it’s impossible to ever leave it. She’s just not into you – perhaps she sees you as a friend? Women will throw men into this category for a wide variety of reasons, often superficial and petty, so don’t be put off by it. Just move on.
The majority of the time, you’ll fall into this category. It’s good as you still have a chance, but you have to work for it. If you’ve yet to open your mouth then you’ll either improve or worsen your chances depending on what she thinks of your personality – so be careful what you say! Don’t worry though, it’s easy for you to create the desire and attraction in you that a women is looking for.
Are you having trouble with attracting and seducing any hot women you meet?
Well if so, then pay close attention to what I’m about to tell you…
If you’re interested in increasing your overall success with women, then you should learn ONE important thing. It is being able to approach women WITHOUT any fear of rejection! I know this sounds simplistic, but many guys have major problems with this one aspect of their dating lives. They’re afraid to approach women because they worry about what could go wrong. Typically a lot of men get nervous thinking about what a woman will say and how she might reject him.
All you have to do is learn how to overcome your fear of rejection. By confidently walking up to a woman with NO fear of rejection, you’ll instantly become an attractive guy who has a seductive personality.
Here’s an example to illustrate this point… One of my good friends is able to attract and seduce many beautiful women because he has almost no fear of rejection. While he knows he’s might be rejected, he’s able to eliminate all negative thought patterns. Instead he simply focuses on his approach and initiating conversations with women. As you can see, guys with no fear of rejection are able to increase their overall success with women. If you learn to cultivate this personality, you’ll find that you’ll become better with women as well. All you have to do is learn how to act confidently on all interactions with women. When you’re talking to women, simply concentrate on the conversation and work at eradicating all negative thoughts. Just relax and enjoy the conversation.
If you’re intimidated by women, you need to work on building your confidence and become comfortable with approaching hot women. If you see an attractive woman, then you should immediately approach her. When you get into the practice of approaching all hot women you see, you’re nervousness and fears will quickly fade away. Once you get into a pattern of approaching women and initiating conversations with women, you’ll experience a dramatic increase in your success. Even if you’re only able to pick up a woman once in awhile, you’ll at least have more experience with your approach techniques. Also, you’ll be closer towards eliminating your fear of rejection. Attracting and seducing women is possible. But if you let your fears and nervousness get in the way, you’ll have little chance of success. All you have to do is practice your approach techniques and become more confident, then you’ll master the art of attraction. You can find out more about this by reading my previous articles on seduction and attraction, so check them out!