Getting Yourself Heard – The Nice Guy Problem

People all over the world have taken to on-line dating; and I mean really taken. It’s now a huge, worldwide phenomenon. Because it works; or more accurately, it can work. Women are in general out-numbered by men on on-line dating sites, and they also tend to be the most cautious when it comes to meeting with a guy they’ve met online. And it’s not surprising; there are many horror stories about the things that can occur online. I must say, it’s a good thing to be careful too, I’ve certainly had my fair share of close calls online.

So, how does a nice guy differentiate themselves from the weirdos online? You’re the nice guy looking for their dream girl. All good.

Firstly, be patient. Do not press a girl into handing over more information than she wishes to, or earlier than she wants to. Keep conversations light and fun until the level of comfort is at a point you can take your conversations further. Don’t rush a face-to-face meeting (although don’t leave it too long – no one likes email ping-pong forever).

A picture is worth a thousand words, for real. Make sure your profile has at least three or four pictures (I talk about this elsewhere). Show yourself doing every day activities and make sure they clearly show your face.

Be 100% clear and upfront about your job and hobbies. You’ll get found out eventually, and a good relationship will never be built on lies. You’ll be back at square one before you know it.

Ditto for your physical appearance. Every girl has different likes and wants. Don’t be afraid to be yourself and you won’t get very far if when you meet you have lied about your appearance.

Once you’ve planned to meet for the first time, make sure it’s in a very public place, during daylight hours if possible. You have nothing to hide and nor should she. Once you’ve had a few successful meetings then let the relationship build!

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The Pro’s To Online Dating

The world of dating has changed so much in the past 10 years. Whereas people use to meet at parties or through friends, the amount of people who are now meeting online has changed the outlook for singles worldwide.

In fact, more people now are having success online than the conventional dating methods. Here are some of the pros of online dating compared to meeting people out and about in bars, clubs or other social situations.

1. Safety
As long as you take appropriate precautions when it comes to sharing your personal data, the world of online dating is probably the safety place to be. The only time your details are revealed is when you choose to reveal them. You can pick your point at which you feel comfortable and then choose when and where to meet someone.

2. Security
Dating online is supposed to help people who have difficulty meeting that special someone. Some people take advantage of that and pry on innocent people so most dating sites have made a system that allows one to report a user and have that person blocked for malicious conduct and prevent this from happening to other people. It’s far easier to block someone online than to ignore someone in a face-to-face conversation.

3. Affordable
Dating is costly especially when you’re meeting different people. By getting to know many people online, you will be able to save money since it’s easier to sort the wheat from the chaff.

4. No more rejection and unwanted people
For men, dating online avoids the embarrassing experience of going up to meet a girl and getting rejected. By signing up on an online service and just chatting online, you can easily forget about all the no’s and focus on the girl’s who’ve said “yes”!

For women, dating online helps avoid meeting the wrong person. Women tend to be pickier about the men they date and it will avoid any awkward climbing-out-of-the-bathroom-window incidents.

5. Openness
Most people find it difficult being honest talking to a stranger for the first time because there is the fear that the other person will not appreciate what is shown.

Since dating online provides a buffer by talking to someone via the computer and not face to face, another benefit is that you can say what you like or be as open as you wish and you’re not going to be offending someone directly. If you are offended by someone online you can just close their conversation and move on.

Online dating can be fun, whether it’s just to meet new friends or meet that potential husband/wife you’ve been looking for all your life! Above all, stay safe and jump right in!

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Staying Safe When Dating Online

Online dating can be a very fun venue towards meeting that special someone and it’s a great way to get out there meeting people.

However, one’s safety should still be the top priority. I’m sure you’re aware that most dating sites don’t do any screening of users and so anyone can just join up? This means that they cannot ensure that the people you meet through their sites are safe enough to be dealt with.

So, this makes YOU call the shots when it comes to screening them.

Here are a few tips to make online dating less risky and how to stay safe online:

  1. Anonymity Breeds Safety – Giving your real email address, personal web site URL, last name, phone number, place of work, home address, or any other information that identifies you in your profile or first few emails that you exchange with other members makes you an easy victim. Turn off your signature file, or make sure that it does not have any identifying information, when sending emails to a member through your own email.
  2. Photo Perfect – Always get a photo. A photo doesn’t cost anything these days and everyone has smartphones, so not much alibi can be given for not doing it. If they’re hiding their face, what else are they hiding?
  3. Lean on Common Sense – Trusting your online acquaintances easily can make you easy bait. If your gut feel tells you that someone is lying, there’s a big chance that he or she is actually lying. Do not go justifying his or her acts. Look for someone that deserves your trust. Online intimacy is very dangerous. Do not indulge yourself on such endeavor at the click of a mouse. Logical thinking will save you a lot of trouble.
  4. Call First – A person’s skills when it comes to communicating can be easily gauged through a phone call. Though it might cost you a call, it still is worth it than risking yourself to falling for an anti-social. However, to make things a lot safer, use a mobile phone with your number hidden (unless they already have it in which case see point 1!). Unless you are absolutely comfortable with the person you are calling, do not give your home phone number at once
  5. Delay the Meeting – It is advisable to take your time and get to know the person as much as possible first before saying yes to a face to face meeting. If he seems to be only spouting or keying saccharine words that you want to hear, the person on the other end might have a questionable honesty. Do not feel like you are obligated to meet anyone, you still have the last say on whether you are ready to meet the person or not. You are free to change your mind if anything feels not right.
  6. Pay Attention – You should pay attention to any signs of intense frustration, anger or any displays of aggressive behavior. If the person is trying to control or pressure you, stop the communication.
  7. Tell Somebody – Before meeting your online friend, tell someone reliable where you will go and when you will return. Leaving your date’s name and phone number is a good idea. Bring your mobile phone. Do not make your date pick you up at home. Have your own transportation and meet somewhere public. During the date, do not leave your drink unattended. After the date, leave on your own too.

To make online dating work, it is imperative that you exercise caution. Have ample time to get to know the other person, do not rush yourself or allow anyone to rush you into doing anything. It is better to be safe and dateless for a while than sorry.

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