As I’ve been saying for a while, there are two key things to being successful with on-line dating. They seem pretty obvious; language, and your photo. Right?
Well as with everything there is more to these things than first meets the eye. Being attractive and having a great photo is one thing, but how you sell yourself through your words is another very important task.
So – what are these magic profile tips you may ask? There are several traits which increase your percieved attractiveness with the opposite sex. Use the wording in your profile to get across the following keywords and you will greatly increase your chances of success!
For Men, the key words to use in your profile are: Passionate, Perceptive, Funny, Ambitious, Spontaneous, Thoughtful, Affectionate, Outgoing, Optimistic and Fit.
For Women, the best words for success are: Ambitious, Funny, Outgoing, Hard Working, Sweet, Thoughtful, Loving, Passionate, Attractive and Spontaneous.
A few years back, people found on-line dating was too taboo for the mainstream. Today, things are different. It’s the hot spot for meeting a potential new love interest!
So, if you’re considering jumping into the pool of on-line dating, here are a few tips that will make the experience a more enjoyable and successful one.
- Find someone who shares your common interest, life goals and family preferences. It is important to share some of the same hopes in order for a relationship to be worthwhile.
- Use caution when giving out personal information, for instance your name and telephone number. At first, provide nothing more than an e-mail address – be careful even with this; you don’t want them tracking you down on social media!
- During casual conversations, look for possible warning signs of control, jealousy or anger.
- If they seem to be extremely needy or needs to talk to you every minute, this may be a sign of possessive behaviour and you might want to think twice! If you notice this happening, move on and find another possible on-line dating match.
- Don’t be afraid to ask questions. It’s perfectly normal to inquire about marital status, children, hopes, dreams, etc. If someone is uncomfortable with these questions, it’s a good indication they have something to hide.
- Don’t rush. Take the time to get to know someone before you decide that you are comfortable enough to meet them. A relationship takes time to build and there is no reason to rush into anything.
- If you learn that someone hasn’t been honest about his or her profile, end it immediately. Dishonesty is no way to begin a relationship and it makes you question anything else that they may be hiding.
- With honesty in mind, it is important that you be honest in your profile and with anyone whom you are having an on-line dating relationship with. If and when the relationship is ready to move to the next level, it will be too late to correct anything that wasn’t truthful and the chance of a relationship will likely be lost.
- Be yourself. Don’t pretend to like something or be someone that you are not just to please the other person. If they are the right one for you, there will not be a reason to not be yourself.
- If you plan to meet someone in person, do so in a public place. Preferably, the meeting time would be early in the day or the afternoon. It’s never a good idea to meet after dark or in a secluded area.
With the abundance of on-line dating sites, filled with 1000’s of eligible members in every area, it’s hard to stand out from the crowd.
Daters always ask me what my top tip is for them, about how they can improve their profile, how they can get more responses…
It’s Your Photo
Unfortunately, we live in a very material and somewhat judgemental world. You absolutely must have a great photo on your profile. Now I’m not saying that you have to look like a supermodel, but a profile with a clean and smart, well taken photograph will stand out. There are various reasons why people don’t want to post good photos on dating profiles; usually this is due to embarrassment if they’re recognised, or perhaps they feel self concious about how they look. But listen, by not having a photo or by having an “arty” photo where your face is not clearly visible you look like someone who has something to hide. Your photo doesn’t have to look like a glossy magazine shoot, but it gives people the general idea if you are what they are looking for, that you aren’t hiding something (e.g. you’re married!), and that you’re a real person.
People who reject you based on your profile picture aren’t worth getting to know anyway, so don’t worry about that side of things. And worried you may be recognised by friends or family? Well firstly, on-line dating is not a taboo any more, and secondly, what are they doing looking on the sites themselves anyway??
Studies show that profiles with pictures get far more response than those which don’t. A good photo is an attention grabber, and it could be the thing that spurs them on to get in touch.
So when you message me asking what I think about your profile and what would I suggest, don’t bother if you don’t have a good photo up already – that will be your Achilles heel at this point.
Dating sites are virtually everwhere, and there is a site out there for every possible niche or interest. Dating online opens new windows allowing a vast number of potential partners to meet each other in a stress free and affordable environment.
Picking a date online however is a little harder in some respects but also easier in others. Online, you have no body language, tone of voice or eye contact to help you. Having said that, you can approach far more potential partners than you could in a bar or club in one night.
If you don’t stand out with online dating, your message will be skipped past, and you’ll never hear back. No second chances here. However, even with all it’s faults, online dating is booming. I feel however there are some unwritten rules, tricks and tips that makes online dating so much easier. I’ve called them my tips from future me – perhaps because I wish I knew all this years ago!
- Don’t Expect Too Much Too Soon
Online dating is a process and takes patience and effort to get decent results. There’ll be plenty of writing, reading, screening, chatting and sharing of photos before you get the first meeting. Don’t be too enthusiastic when you see an interesting profile and try not to get attached the moment you click onto their profile! You can’t really get to know someone online in the same way as you can in real life. For now, you should consider these profiles no different to people walking past you in the street. You need to take the time to connect before actually expecting results.
- Take Time With Your Responses
A bit like texting, responding instantly gives off the impression you’re bored, have nothing better to do and are desperate for a date. Let’s face it, we all like to avoid those desperate people as they’ll just be clingy. Bide your time and you’ll have a chance to think of a more appropriate response and also increase your chances with your potential match.
- Take Things Slow
Go at a realistic pace. Don’t ask for numbers in the first few messages. Stop trying to create instant connections and instead create great connections. At least wait a few days with messaging before you start to talk offline. Make sure that person is at least half normal!
- Compose an Honest Profile
Think carefully about the truth, it will all be revealed when you meet in person anyway. Trust is the most important thing in any relationship, so why sabotage it off the bat? If you do meet, he/she’ll feel awful if they find out you’ve been stringing them along all this time.
- Keep Things Light
The tone of responses should be light and friendly. Keep dialogue simple and general until you get a better idea of the person’s likes and interests. Don’t talk about any touchy subjects until you get to know the person better.
- Meet When You’re _Both_ Ready
Don’t pressure anyone into meeting. It’s not going to lead to a good first date. Get to know someone before meeting. Make sure you’re comfortable talking first; otherwise it’s going to be an awkward date if you can’t hold a conversation!
- Pick The Right Meeting Place
Coffee shops in the day are great because if the other person doesn’t meet your expectations then you can always politely cut the date shorter than if perhaps you had planned dinner and a film.
- Don’t Be Discouraged
It can be frustrating trying to find that special someone. If it doesn’t work out at first, don’t worry, just try again. The world is full of single people and your match will be out there somewhere!
Men are often clueless in what it is that attracts a woman. In fact, some people say that women are so hard to comprehend that even if a man could master how to understand every portion of their body language, they’d still not be able to understand them.
Over 70% of Men can’t work out the most basic of women’s body language
Because men are having such a hard time figuring out what attracts women sexually and romantically, men often realise that they’ve misunderstood or completely got the wrong end of the stick, often too late. This leads to many men thinking they know the secret of what women are attracted to, when in fact they couldn’t be further from it.
So, here’s some quick tips. Women, if you agree/disagree don’t forget to share in the comments section below!
Here’s a list of the top tips to help understand where men are going wrong:
- Women don’t like “nice guys”
Well, they do, but that doesn’t mean it’s what attracts them. Some guys think that in order to attract a woman they must be good looking, small good, dress well and project that all so important “nice guy” image. WRONG. In reality, women are after the bad-boys. They always have been and they always are. Nice guys are boring. It’s as simple as that – and women find this uninteresting.
Women enjoy character. They value someone who can keep them hooked. Most women value personality over looks, correct, but that doesn’t mean you need to roll over and play nice. Men who have loveable personalities with a sense of humour and above all confidence tend to do the best.
- Women are attracted to less superficial features than men are
Let me explain. Women tend to see past the surface quicker than men do. Things that are innate, and not constrained by physical boundaries and limitations. Women are far more concerned with things that they literally cannot see. Stuff like personality traits, behaviour and attitudes.
This is why most women would rather date a man with a strong personality, even if he isn’t the best looking or most well off.
- Women like men who can handle themselves
Egoistic men tend to be more focussed on what others see in them than who they actually are.
However, women are not so much worried about what makes this man, but on what this man makes of himself. For example, women prefer men who take care of what they’ve got than are perhaps the most naturally good looking.
A man might be rich, but if he spends his money unwisely then he won’t necessarily bag the woman of his dreams. Women prefer men who do the right thing, who make the most of what they have… This is the key to getting women to pay attention.
Material things such as looks, physical attributes, wealth, education, power, etc are all important, but it doesn’t mean every man needs this to be successful with women. Men who have less, but do more with it, will always win.
So with all this in mind, remember that the concept of attraction is a personal one and will vary from woman to woman. One woman may like the fact you have a car, one may not care. But to be successful with the majority of women you need to focus on proving that what you do with what you’ve got is more important to you than having the best material things to start from.